Skip to main content

Know Your Worth (The Cat(s) Pyjamas)

Omg guys, celebrate with me!

I bought these (very cute!) cat pyjama pants as ‘goal pants’ to fit into once I lost some more weight.

So I thought I’d try them on to see how far I had to go before they’d fit (assuming they’d stop at my thighs at this stage)...and they were too big!

The size below these, or maybe even the next one down, would have actually been the right fit.

I know I (clearly!) still have some work to do on my distorted perception (BDD) - but despite this situation reminding me that I’m not seeing myself as I really am yet, it also got me thinking about how much I actually love my body and myself, regardless of real or perceived size or shape - or what the tag on my clothes says.

My main goal is to continue to work on becoming healthier everyday, and to keep increasing my level of fulfilment in body, mind and spirit.

Because once I first achieved that fulfilment, I became UNfuckingSTOPPABLE (which is why I’m now passionate AF to help others do the same!) because I’ve found that even if I still hit the occasional bump in the road, it doesn’t stop or derail me, or make me punish myself for it (in any area of my life, not just the weight loss journey).

My weight now comes off because of my new mindset, and my fierce determination to do this because I love myself.

Rather than being motivated by self-loathing, punishment and shame, which it was when I started this journey.

And I can guarantee you that the self-love option is far better and much more effective!

So I’ll still celebrate this win about my pants, because that’s important too.

But I do it knowing that my size doesn’t determine my worth. And it never did.

I can't emphasise this message enough for those who need to hear it. Your size does not determine your worth.

Because this was one of the biggest hurdles for me to overcome, and it took me years to get there. 

Somewhere deep down I must surely have known, logically, that size and worth weren't related. But it didn't matter because I truly believed that my size and weight were directly related to my worth.

So, I believed that as long as I wasn't 'skinny and perfect' I had no real value, and I should allow people to treat me accordingly.

As I've been writing this, I've replayed so many memories in my mind.

Part of me feels a little sad, because I'm so secure and confident in who I am now that it is a bit sad to look back and see what I allowed myself to go through.

But mostly I just feel happy and blessed.

I know I can't change what happened to me, and that I wouldn't be who I am today without having been through it.

These days I'd respond so differently to each of those people and situations because I've learned to truly love, respect, and value myself. And because I won't accept anything less from others.

Now I'm just filled with such gratitude to feel so happy and fulfilled all of the time, and I'm incredibly blessed that I get to help others feel the same joy and experience their own transformations.
And if every single piece of my past was necessary in order for me to transform into the person that I've become today, it was so fucking worth it.

Because now I'm unstoppable. And you deserve to be, too.

Stay fierce.
With love,

P.S. See the bonus real cat featured in the pic? So cute.

Visit me at my website here.
Connect with me on Instagram here.

Jynx makes a cameo with my new PJs


Popular posts from this blog


Determination to push past my comfort zones and self-imposed restrictions has played a major role in my goal setting this year - and one of the biggest goals that I set myself was to start learning a martial art.
When I first told my family that I wanted to start learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), they laughed because they thought I was making a joke. They weren't being cruel, they honestly thought that I was trying to be funny because this was such an unexpected thing for me to tell them. I'd secretly wanted to learn a martial art my whole life, but the reality was that from a very young age I was far too big for activities like that. When I was at my heaviest, not only was I completely unfit, but I could barely walk 100 meters without severe pain in various parts of my body.
So learning a martial art was certainly not a possibility, and so I gave up on the idea. It became just another unfulfilled and almost-forgotten dream for a long time.
At some point over the ye…

Goal Setting

I believe that goals are an important part of everyone's life. They give you passion, drive, aspiration, inspiration, motivation. And ultimately I believe they give you hope.
On some of my darkest days, it's the heavy weight of hopelessness that's probably the hardest thing to overcome. Depression is a cruel beast, and being able to see any light on the horizon can be very difficult when you're in that dark place.
But I believe that hope combats despair, so having a glimmer of hope amongst the darkness has been one of the best methods I've found to help lift me back into a better space.
Earlier this year I decided that I needed to set a lot more realistic and achievable goals than I had in previous years, and that goal setting (and, in a way, 'life planning') was going to be a priority and a new method of managing myself, my wellbeing and my time.
I need routine and I need goals - and I need to try to keep my mind occupied with good, healthy and positive t…


I'm still not really sure who she is.

She looks back at me every day, but she's different now.

It started a few years ago. She started changing, and I knew we were drifting apart. She catches my glance every so often and the thoughts rush through my head. I know she's trying to understand as well. What's happened to her? What happened to me?

She's different to what my eyes see. She's different to my memories and my perception.

She's lost that deep sadness from her eyes. She's got smile lines now.

If I made her so unhappy, then why were we such a perfect match? So perfectly destructive together. Codependency made in heaven. 

I know she still sees me there, placed into the background of her life. I know she still feels and hears me, but she also listens to others now. She's become intoxicated by the offerings of others - the ones she calls 'supportive' and 'kindred spirits'.

I don't care how good they make her feel. Why can't we…