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Showing posts from December, 2017


Determination to push past my comfort zones and self-imposed restrictions has played a major role in my goal setting this year - and one of the biggest goals that I set myself was to start learning a martial art.
When I first told my family that I wanted to start learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), they laughed because they thought I was making a joke. They weren't being cruel, they honestly thought that I was trying to be funny because this was such an unexpected thing for me to tell them. I'd secretly wanted to learn a martial art my whole life, but the reality was that from a very young age I was far too big for activities like that. When I was at my heaviest, not only was I completely unfit, but I could barely walk 100 meters without severe pain in various parts of my body.
So learning a martial art was certainly not a possibility, and so I gave up on the idea. It became just another unfulfilled and almost-forgotten dream for a long time.
At some point over the ye…

Goal Setting

I believe that goals are an important part of everyone's life. They give you passion, drive, aspiration, inspiration, motivation. And ultimately I believe they give you hope.
On some of my darkest days, it's the heavy weight of hopelessness that's probably the hardest thing to overcome. Depression is a cruel beast, and being able to see any light on the horizon can be very difficult when you're in that dark place.
But I believe that hope combats despair, so having a glimmer of hope amongst the darkness has been one of the best methods I've found to help lift me back into a better space.
Earlier this year I decided that I needed to set a lot more realistic and achievable goals than I had in previous years, and that goal setting (and, in a way, 'life planning') was going to be a priority and a new method of managing myself, my wellbeing and my time.
I need routine and I need goals - and I need to try to keep my mind occupied with good, healthy and positive t…

Bianca Dubbsey - the cat who healed me.

When I was 19, I moved back home after an abusive relationship. While I'd been away, my parents adopted a feral cat they'd named Bianca. Bianca (who soon became known as Dubbsey) had taken residence in my old room because no one else had been living in there while I'd been gone and she was able to hide in there. So now I was back, I had a new fighty, bitey roommate (I didn't have to keep her in my room, but of course I wanted to).

Although she didn't trust me for a long time, she slowly started to come out from under the bed. Usually she'd come out, see me, hiss, attack me, then hide again. But, over time, she'd stop attacking me, then stop hissing, then sort of sit with me - slowly getting closer over the months.

I didn't really realise at the time, but we were actually helping each other recover from our past trauma together.

After about 6 months she'd sit on my lap, and one day she started purring. She'd never purred before!

From …